Mediation and Resolving Conflicts

Learn about mediation. Reconnect with your child. Manage your safety and the safety of your children.

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What is mediation? Mediation is a discussion between parents about plans for the children including the parenting schedule and how decisions will be made about things like school and medical care. A mediator is a person who’s trained to help parents have discussions about these topics. The mediator is not there to make decisions or give legal advice. They will support each parent equally so you can each share ideas about a plan for the children.

What’s the process to schedule mediation? There are two parts to mediation at Family Resolution Services (FRS). The first step is to attend a Mediation Orientation which is a 90 minute class on Zoom that explains mediation and how to prepare for it. After both parents have attended Orientation, a mediation appointment is scheduled with both parents and a mediator who facilitates the discussion. The first mediation session is over the phone and is scheduled for up to 2 hours. Future sessions can be by phone, Zoom, or in person if both parents agree and are for 90 minutes.

What do we talk about? Mediation at Family Resolution Services focuses on helping parents discuss the parenting schedule and custody (which is how major legal decisions are made for children). Parents also discuss topics like extra curricular activities, communication and transportation.

We do not do financial mediation, which includes child support, alimony, taxes, or property division.

Is mediation required in my case? Mediation is mandatory if you have children under 18 years of age and are in disagreement with the other parent about the parenting time or custody (decision making). The Court requires parents to try to resolve their disputes outside of Court prior to scheduling a hearing. There are some circumstances where exceptions to mediation are made, and the Court may waive the requirement for mediation. Generally, those are cases where there has been domestic violence or other significant safety concerns. Contact the Family Law Department at (971) 274-0600 or email the Legal Resource Center at MUL.LRC@ojd.state.or.us for more information about obtaining a waiver for mediation.

How Much Does it Cost? Mediation at Family Resolution Services is free! Yes, free!

Who can use mediation services at Family Resolution Services? If you have children under 18 and live in Multnomah County, or have a divorce or custody case filed in our county, you can use our services. If you have a custody or divorce case in another county, you need to utilize that county’s mediation services.

How long will it take? The first mediation appointment is for up to 2 hours, and follow up appointments are for 90 minutes. It often takes 2 or 3 mediation sessions to develop a full plan.

What if I’m worried about my safety in mediation? Sometimes, it may be difficult for a parent to feel safe enough to negotiate with the other parent about a plan for the children. If you don’t feel it would be safe for you to advocate for your perspective in mediation, please contact us and we can discuss options to make mediation safer. Many times parents find it easier to discuss issues related to the children with the other parent with the support of a mediator. Either parent or the mediator can end mediation at any time.

In some cases, mediation may not be the right choice. You may ask a judge to waive the requirement for mediation by filing a request for mediation to be waived. Email the Legal Resource Center at MUL.LRC@ojd.state.or.us for more information about obtaining a waiver for mediation or call them at 971-236-8670.

At the start of your first appointment, the mediator will talk with each parent individually about safety concerns. If you'd like to have a conversation with your mediator prior to the mediation appointment, reach out to schedule a call. The mediator's email address will be in the confirmation email you receive for the mediation appointment.

What if there is a restraining order or a no contact order between us? If you have a restraining order, you can still mediate, but there are some exceptions. Please contact us and we can look at your particular situation and discuss options with you.

If there is a no-contact order in a criminal case, the restrained person must get permission from the probation officer or judge that has the authority to allow contact for the purpose of mediation. In either case, mediation may be used to discuss custody (decision making) and parenting time for the children. You may not use meditation to negotiate about the restraining order itself. Any agreements reached in mediation must be then approved by a judge.

Does mediation work? Over 50% of people who attend mediation end up reaching an agreement on some or all of the issues. Besides making agreements, mediation is a chance to have conversations about your children with professional support. Parents who mediate tend to have less conflict and return to court less in the future.

Do I need a lawyer? Mediation is not a substitute for legal advice or representation. FRS encourages all parents to get advice from a lawyer, if possible. We also recognize that many parents in domestic relations cases are representing themselves because they cannot afford a lawyer or do not choose to have a lawyer.

How do I sign up for Mediation? Email us at Family.Resolution@multco.us or call 503-988-3189 and leave a message. We will follow up with you and assist you with registering for our services.

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Last reviewed September 18, 2024